The First Noble Truth.

A while ago, a good friend of mine, Justin, told me,

"Once you've fought depression, you're always fighting it. You'll have your good days, your good weeks, your good years... but without warning it'll come back, it'll strike again."

That statement really struck me when I read it; it was a simple statement-- perhaps not even revolutionary to others to to me, it was. It did not hit me with a tide of despair, however ...

In fact, it was ... relief.

The first thing I felt was not despair, but relief. Even positivity. I've always gotten so angry at myself for getting depressed. I would always feel like I had finally overcome it, but it would always come back somehow and I would get so frustrated.

But that comment ... it illuminated a core fact about life that many forget: in life, there will always be suffering. It's the first Noble Truth of Buddhism, even. Pessimistic? Yes. Nihilisitic? Perhaps ...

But it also means that it's just a part of life. It is unrealistic to expect that once you overcome a bad time in your life, there will be no more after that. It is unrealistic to expect that life ends "happily ever after." Life goes on and as it continues, as it changes, as your change, there will be come sort of conflict, be it external or internal. Even if things do stay good, it will eventually stagnate; it might leave you bored or irritable or apathetic. It's okay to be sad, to be angry, to be frustrated or confused. There is no right or wrong, only consequences. And another part of life is that suffering can be overcome. Whether it is through personal endeavor or time, suffering can be overcome.

I do not beat myself up anymore when I get depressed. I do keep telling myself that it's perfectly fine to feel this way and that I do have the power to overcome it. Thinking this way has made me more capable of handling my problems and depression ends up becoming less severe and easier to deal with.

It took me a long time to get to where I am ... but nonetheless, here I am.